he’s as tall as the empire state and he’s big! legs like sequoias, shoulders like rocks. yum. oh please, don’t chastise me for girlish glee and sexual thrall – that’s the entire point. this man is a god! he could induce ejaculation in a eunuch! he demands awe! you can’t ignore a rottwieler. you can’t deride the himilayas. the man has wrists like tree-branches and fingers like tubes of toothpaste. and oh he’s covered in hair! he’s like a wild animal! he rears up before me like a bear about to tear me apart with his teeth. (…) of course, gonzales knows all this. he’s not short on confidence. he steams onstage and doesn’t even deign to meet our eyes for the first two songs; shielding himself from us behind the brim of a safari hat. this is one hombre who knows how to keep a lady in waiting. eventually we get to the strip: the essential part of any nu slutz (khan, peaches, gonzales) gig. gonzo pulls off his safari suit to reveal – another suit! now that is classy! such chasteness at the doors of such fine booty! the second suit is pastel powdery pink; it’s a tease, it’s a dare. i am man enough, quoth he, to wear a clitpink suit. come and have a go if. nobody does. you can hate rap, piano, clapping, arrogance, sex, joy, audacity, chest hair and everything else gonzales stands for. you will still come away stunned. the future of modern music is in his hands. right next to my heart. gonzales uber alles!

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download free mp3 from our podcast: take me to broadway | you snooze you loose

gonzales – o.p. original prankster
an early ep from 1999 by gonzales. we’re talking about a canadian-born guy who now eekes out an existence as a nomadic mc playing all around europe and who calls an abandoned bombed-out tv station in east berlin home. gonzales’s experimental hip hop style reflects his lifesyle and is similar to dj shadow’s dense and intense layering of sounds, styles, and ideas.

mp3: finetunes | emusic

gonzales – z

‘z’ is gonzales’ fourth album, a mutated best of, highlighting songs from albums 1-3. except this time, they’ve been completely re-recorded from scratch in new styles, with new guests, and with all new vocals and music. this is the album gonzo would probably make if he was retiring at age 60. guests include paul pm, taylor savvy, louie austen, princess superstar and peaches on ‘the joy of thinking’. surprisingly good.

mp3: finetunes

cd: kitty-yo popstore

gonzales – presidential suite

three months this lp’s been in our noise machine. we played live versions of half the tracks for months previous to that. we are now as familiar with this record as we are with our own scrotum. and similarly, after twenty two years in the company of said cum-producing sack of joy, our affections for the wee fucker haven’t diminished in the slightest. in fact, day by day our love for the thing grows and grows. its usefulness, versatility, overall design genius, and all round (arf) protection never cease to amaze us. and so it is with ‘presidential suite’ the great gonzo’s first pop album, a record of such sparkling joy that it makes that s club juniors single look like one of thom yorke’s suicide poems. gonzo fans will be aware of his repertoire european electro whimsy, piano, and balladry were all stirred and twisted on his full length debut ‘…uber alles’, while digital hardcore, hip-hop, mop-styled craziness and snoop-derived rhyme patterns were all fucked up on the classic follow up ‘the entertainist’. and here, as was hoped, the two meet. boy – ‘snooze you lose’ is a hi-nrg rap attack on game, a floor filler, and a chemical imbalance. ‘take me to broadway’ is a near-teary eyed fantasy, career statement and pop-classic. ‘bottom to the top’ is eminem in a ball pit playing hide the sausage with justin timberlake and britney spears. girl ‘shameless eyes’ (“your game is no match for my game”) is lush, creepy, and would only be better if whitney covered it, while ‘the joy of thinking’, aside from the splendid title, asks the all-important question, “are you embarrassed? embarrassed with what you do?”, then notes, “you just think too much,” in a strangely erotic fashion. and ‘salieri serenade’ is a wrong, but applaudably underdog-cheering nod to the man made obsolete by (“most art ain’t”) mozart. oh, and ‘a thousand faces’ is future barbershop, which is unique and genius. and the cover is ace. and feist is the coolest torch singer we ever heard. and ‘presidential suite’ is one of the albums of the year. and you already bought it, so why are you reading this? (adam alphabet / playlouder.com)

mp3: finetunes

cd: kitty-yo popstore

gonzales – take me to broadway
a working-class entertainer’s anthem. the single also features ‘concerto in e minor’ performed on the piano and an re-working of tschaikowsky’s ‘return of the sugar plum fairy’.

12″/cdm: kitty-yo popstore

gonzales – another so called party
the first single from the ‘z’ album. a mental party song mixed with a smooth chanson, and some funk on the top.

12″/cdm: kitty-yo popstore

gonzales – the entertainist

there are some marriages made in heaven, and peaches and gonzales are certainly two peas in a raunchy, sex-upped pod. the pair, who first clashed musically in a previous life as merrill nisker (fancypants hoodlum) and jason beck (son) in a toronto band called the shit, have since risen from the ashes of their earlier identities to blossom, fully formed, as peaches (a horny cruise director type) and gonzales (a nasty super-villain). “only double-a, thinkin’ triple x” is how peaches sets herself up on her circus of a live sex show, teaches of peaches. this debut full-length incorporates the tracks from her self-titled teenage usa ep of last year, fleshing out the beats from her roland 505 groove box. her amazing new record is almost schizophrenic, as your ears bounce between catching the fuzzed out subtleties of her programming and turning beet red as she smoothly raps her ivana humpalot lyrics. peaches shows off some of her raw, juicy beats on the new rap record by chilly gonzales, who puts the catchy electro-pop of his uber alles debut aside for some revenge fantasies on the entertainist. unlike his debut, gonzales only produces a few tracks here, leaving some to peaches but the bulk to berlin buddy, digital hardcore associate patrick c, whose hard beats perfectly complement the new-found edge of chilly g. his fascinating persona continues to evolve – at one point he’s a combination of joseph stalin and woody allen, whatever that might mean – but his hilarious tirades and raunchy interludes are always backed with stuff for your head: beats to make it nod and words to make it turn. the red leather ep, which teams the pair together, is a slice of blondie-ish new wave pseudo rap from peaches featuring friendlier electro beats. remarkable how not giving a fuck leads to some truly amazing musical moments./p>

mp3: finetunes

gonzales & peaches – red leather
an ode to decadence, minimalist disco pop from two true entertainers featuring the brilliant ‘we want it’ and ‘hot pink hot sex’ tunes.

mp3: finetunes

gonzales – you snooze, you lose
feat. the title track, a remix of ‘decisions’ plus an instrumental and a cappella version.

mp3: finetunes | emusic